Starting Fresh

I'm back! I've been a dead-beat blogger these past few months and I apologize for that. I had a particularly emotional day yesterday, and when nothing else seemed to make me feel better, I began to type up my thoughts and feelings.

These past few months have been particularly diffiuclt for me, and I honestly feel that this is the toughest period I've ever faced in my life. This is mainly because I've faced disappoint in all aspects of my life; personal and professional. I lost my grandmother very suddenly in September, had to face the realization that the plan that I had for my life would not be fulfilled, unhappiness at work, and the frustration that I repeatedly invested energy into a friendship only to receive nothing in return.

I also reviewed the list of goals that I had set for myself at the beginning of this year and was disappointed that many of them never materialized.

While these all sound like complaints, I want to make it perfectly clear that the purpose of this "comeback" is not to wallow, but to instead begin anew. Rather than retracting and allowing myself to fall apart, I want to make serious changes in my life.

What I've learned:

(1) There will always be those who are only interested in themselves. You need not fault yourself for their lack of consideration, nor waste your time waiting for them to change in order to meet your expectaion of them. Accept it as it is, and move on.

(2) For me, nothing is more therapeutic than a walk outside.

(3) Expectations are necessary for growth, but I will not be so hard on myself if I cannot meet them. Sometimes failure is a blessing in disguise, and even if it is not, make the best of any situation.

(4) Learn to love with my choices. I've spent a lot of time harping on "What ifs..." which I do not want to do anymore.

(5) Even when it doesn't seem like it, there is goodness in the world. I need to appreciate those who have been there for me.

What I hope to accomplish in the coming year: (Consider this an advance on my resolutions for 2010).

(1) Blog more...I mean it! This felt good.

(2) Become involved in volunteering/charity. I'm not sure how, but I regret that I've never gotten involved in some sort of volunteer work outside of the requirements for National Honor Society in high school. I'd love to participate in Habitat for Humanity or something along those lines.

(3) Read at least one book per week. I finish with my MA in December, so I will have considerably more free time than I have now. Although this could be the conclusion of my formal education, I refuse to allow my mind to atrophy.

(4) I've always wanted to learn how to surf or (as you may remember from my post) play guitar. I'd like to at least attempt one of these before 2010 is over.

(5) Mostly, learn to love myself and be comfortable with who I am. Even though it seems simple enough, I feel I haven't allowed myself to do so. I will get there though.

There may be more to come, but I'll start with these for now.

Cheers!

Tea for Thought

"In wilderness, is the preservation of the world"
-Henry David Thoreau

I received some unexpected enlightenment from Mr. Thoreau while having my chamomile tea at work today. This quote appeared on the paper of the tea bag, and made me think about the often over-looked beauty that nature holds. In spite of the cloudy forecast (and 300 pages to read on the Crusades for Monday's class) this weekend, I will be squeezing a walk outdoors in. I hope that all of you can do the same.

Baby it's cold outside...

I hope that everyone enjoyed their snow day. I figured that this would be an appropriate song to post. Not a complete version, but I love Zooey Deschanel's voice and who doesn't love "Elf"?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X9re6CQZGFw

Tough Times

I came across this article in the New York Times today. It is truly a shame that these staples of New York, will not be receiving the funding which they had anticipated for the coming fiscal year. I understand the critical state of the current economy, and my one hope is that Governor Patterson uses the funds which would have gone towards these organizations wisely, with the interests of those in New York who are experiencing particular economic hardship in mind. Either way, it is disheartening that the proposed budget cuts will undoubtedly undermine the educational opportunities offered by these museums, as well as, the precious glimpse into the natural world that is disappearing in our consumer driven society.


http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/22/nyregion/22funding.html?_r=1&scp=1&sq=new%20york%20botanical%20garden&st=cse

Winter

Many of my fellow bloggers have shared experiences about embracing what they have formerly disdained. Well, yesterday, after the rock salt had been laid and the snow plows had been gone, I took a little walk outside and can I tell you how refreshing. It was a great way to clear my head, and just take in the quiet beauty of the season as the sun set on the weekend. If this snow lasts through the next weekend, I encourage all of you to do the same.

A Mighty Fine Ohhhhh Nine

Happy New Year, Everyone!

I meant to post yesterday, but I started out 2009 sick, so my New Year's was limited to tea and "The Twilight Zone" marathon. Anyways, my reason for posting is to share my goals for the upcoming year. A few weeks ago, while at tea with some wonderful ladies, I mentioned that I was not excited for 2009, because I felt that there was nothing significant to look forward to. It was suggested, however, that even though there was nothing planned at the moment, there was no reason why I could not make the upcoming year remarkable on my own. I took this advice to heart, and came up with a list of what I would like to accomplish. I have the list, and hopefully by this time next year, I will be able to say that I completed all of them. Again, best wishes for a peaceful and happy year.

(1) Commit to blogging on a regular basis-Appropriately the first goal.


(2) Run a 5K- I began looking into a few. I'll begin training this week, and register for one for the springtime.

(3) Improve my French-I worked on this for the fall, and will hopefully be taking a class next semester through school. I would like to work towards becoming fluent.

(4) Look into PhD programs-I'm on the fence about going further, but if I decide to continue I am going to begin searching.

(5) Learn to play the guitar-I've had a guitar for years now, and I've always put off learning. This year I am going to take playing more seriously.

Just a thought...

It happens every year.
No sooner have the candy corn and costumes been condemned to the "clearance rack" , that retailers prepare for the next major American holiday...Christmas. Yes, sad as this is, the holiday commercials have begun to air, seasonal decorations adorn the aisles of stores, even ABC family has a countdown to the "25 Days of Christmas". Every year this happens, and every year I note the absurdity of it all. Do not get my wrong; I enjoy the Christmas season as much as anyone, but how come it is so difficult for Americans to enjoy the moment? To me, this is one of the most beautiful and tranquil times of the year in terms of nature. The weather is crisp, the leaves on the trees have finally strayed from their uniform green, to that beautiful amalgamation of orange, yellow, and red, before they begin the decent to the ground. Thanksgiving is also less than two weeks away. Why would one want to skip over this? I understand that this is America, and time is money, but to me, something as precious as time should not be hurried. Can't we all just stop rushing and just enjoy the moment for once? Constantly waiting for the next "big thing", only paves the way for missed opportunities. Even if I cannot change the minds of others, I know I will enjoy all of the beauty that autumn has to offer until its time has passed. My only embrace of the Christmas season until the first of December shall be having my pumpkin spice in a seasonal red cup (only because I don't have a choice there : ) ), as I eagerly await chestnut stuffing and pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving. Mmmmmmmm.